Giving up tumblr for Lent; see y’all April 20th
one hand clicking on my mouse the other clicking on my clit
*DJs at a high school prom*
*only plays gangnam style*
*plays gangnam style at half speed when they request a slow song*
"thanks white person you have some really insightful opinions on racism" (turns around and mouths no to the camera)
one time i fell asleep with a half eaten bag of chips on my chest and while i was napping one of my cats jumped up on me and chewed up the bag and sent the chips flying everywhere and a bit later i woke up completely covered in shredded bag and chip pieces and the last thing i remembered i had started eating some tasty chips so for a short while i was convinced i had blacked out and gone into some sort of uncontrollable chip frenzy
this is so illegal. we’re going to get in so much trouble. you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs
Did you people really think that we would not notice you filling the beach with wheat and wheat byproducts
I GOT 10 MINUTES LEFT OF BEING A TEENAGER I GOTTA DO SOMETHING REBELLIOUS UH
guess who just put paper in the non-recycling. nnnnYEHAWH
Looking back on this as a 20 year old, I now realise how utterly irresponsible I behaved. I apologise. I have since removed the paper and put it in the recycling. I hope you can forgive me for my foolish and reckless behaviour. I can assure you it will not happen again. I am disgusted with myself.
if i ever misgender you:
- it is not on purpose i promise
- im very sorry
- tell me your correct pronouns and ill use them
- spray me with cold water
When I was a kid, this white girl with green eyes said my eyes were ugly ‘cause they were the color of shit. I told her that her eyes were ugly cause they were the color of sick people’s boogers. She was so shocked that I wasn’t jealous of her eyes that she started to cry and told on me that I was making fun of her.
And there you have reverse racism in a nutshell
instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant
Are you a U.S. senator?
coming out of the closet? no. i’m coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because i want it all